They've got it covered

We've all been there. The "band" weddings, with an inebriated Mick Jagger wannabe swaying back and forth to the mangled chords of an 80s pop song that should have died with the Kansas City Royals' postseason appearances.

The cover song has a long and bumpy history in popular music. In the early 20th Century, swing bands, jazz artists and bluegrass outfits from rival publishing houses would cover the hits of their competitors' stable of artists, leading to about 57 versions of "Mack the Knife" (Bertoldt Brecht wrote this???).

Since that time, every single garage band has tried to make it big with their own interpretations of the Beatles, Guns and Roses and The Pretenders.

Many of these songs are merely meant to be ironic attempts to pad an original album -- or, in the case of Less than Jake, fill an entire album. But it is the mark of a truly great artist/group who can take the work of a previous musician and turn it into something else and imbue it with a transcendent meaning, in the same way a great movie remake should do.

With that in mind, here are some of my favorite cover songs that take the source material and inch it forward to make something new and uniquely powerful. Or, simply, to take a terrible song and make it listen-able. Both accomplishments are equally impressive.

Santana "Black Magic Woman" 1970 (originally by Fleetwood Mac)

That first guitar riff is simply legendary. Can anyone remember any portion of the original Fleetwood Mac version as much as those first few notes? Santana takes another of Fleetwood's contrived tunes (sorry, I simply can't stand that band) and turns it into something soulful, earthy and -- gulp! -- magical.

Joe Cocker "With a Little Help from my Friends" 1968 (originally by The Beatles)

Yes, it was the theme song to "The Wonder Years." But it was also a re-imagining of what was already a sentimental song about needing the aid of those around you into an even more mournful, heartfelt tribute to the necessity of friendship. And the Woodstock performance just puts it over the top.

Jimi Hendrix "All Along the Watchtower" 1968 (originally by Bob Dylan)

Anyone who is unfortunate enough to have a couple of beers with me when this song comes on the jukebox will have to endure my endless ramblings of why Dylan's version is superior: it's haunting, bare-bones sound with Dylan's trademark scratchy vocals more closely embody the narrative of the tune. But can you really deny that Hendrix's version takes the source material and turns it into an electric rock masterpiece?

Cream "Crossroads" 1969 (originally by Robert Johnson)

This 1936 tune, originally titled "Cross Road Blues," has been covered by a ton of recognizable artists: The Doors, Bob Dylan, The Steve Miller Band, Phish and even John Mayer. But it is the Cream version, with the young Eric Clapton providing the unforgettable blues riff, that elevates this timeless classic to a new level.

The Clash "I Fought the Law" 1979 (originally written by Sonny Curtis of The Crickets)

It may not have started the punk/alternative trend of covers in faster time with edgier riffs, but "I Fought the Law" is perhaps the most famous. Its themes gel so nicely with the rallying cry of the counterculture that it's difficult to believe Joe Strummer and Mick Jones didn't pen the track themselves.

Soft Cell "Tainted Love" 1981 (originally by Gloria Jones)

Let's forget that awful Marilyn Manson cover from ten years ago, shall we? This song gets double duty, because the 1980s rockers also incorporated The Supremes' "Where Did our Love Go?" at the end of the track, tying together two thematically related hits from the soul era into the synth era of the 1980s.

Jeff Buckley "Hallelujah" 1994 (originally by Leonard Cohen)

You may remember this song from Shrek. If so, punch yourself. The above live version of this song takes a forgettable crooning mess from the 1980s and turns it into something incredibly powerful. All gospel songs should be redone like this.

Cake "I Will Survive" 1996 (originally by Gloria Gaynor)

Some may take Cake's version of Gloria Gaynor's anthem of femininity as a kind of farcical parody. Nothing could be further from the truth. They syncopated delivery of John McCrea and mournful horns on this track jive nicely with Cake's other tunes about unrequited love and heartbreak, notably "She'll Come Back to Me."

Johnny Cash "Hurt" 2003 (originally by Nine Inch Nails)

Cash also covered Depeche Mode's "Personal Jesus" to great effect, but it is this version of Trent Reznor's "Hurt" and the slight alteration of lyrics to reflect Cash's faith that take a great song about self-defeat and turn it into a tribute to one of the most self-destructive icons of a past era. The music video is immensely powerful, as well, retreading images of Cash's life and career over lyrics that just as easily could have been written by the man who penned classics like "Folsom Prison" and "Cocaine Blues."

Citizen Cope "Karma Police" 2006 (originally by Radiohead)

The original song can be interpreted as an Orwellian nightmare or an ode to the all-encompassing justice of the universe. Either way you take it, this dub version of the tune makes it funky and danceable, brightening the subject matter up a bit while at the same time merging the cold English moors with the sands of Jamaica.

Are there any others I've missed? Let me know below!

Deranged in America

Rush Limbaugh has been busted.

No, it's not another Oxycontin charge. Or divorce filing. On Monday, Limbaugh was immortalized in bronze with a bust in the Hall of Famous Missourians at the State Capitol in Jefferson City.

This post has nothing to do with my personal feelings of Limbaugh. The man's content speaks for itself, and there's enough vitriol on the Internet already both inspired by and coming from the mouth of the radio personality, so I'll take a pass.

This post is about the way in which Limbaugh was inducted, and how it shines a light on deeper implications for our local, state and federal government and the way they do business. Monday's ceremony, according to a report from the Associated Press, was not publicized in any fashion, ostensibly to keep protesters away from the capitol. State House Speaker Steven Tilley, R-Perryville, has been pushing for Limbaugh to be inducted in recent weeks, inspiring symbolic protest from the other side of the aisle and even a measure to clarify authority of the rotunda, where Limbaugh's bust now stands among the faces of George Washington Carver, Ewing Kauffman, John J. Pershing and (perhaps the most ironic of all) Samuel Clemens.

The ceremony was private -- which is a euphemism for "keeping undesirables out" -- for the divisive (another euphemism) conservative talk show host. In his coronation (I can't really think of another noun for a ceremony where one has a statute dedicated to their remembrance) speech, Limbaugh took the opportunity to once again take potshots at his opponents, repeatedly calling them "deranged."

What is deranged, I'm afraid, is what this ceremony and the manner in which it was held says about local government. A ceremonial honor, with nothing at stake other than a few square feet in the capitol rotunda, inspired an impassioned outcry from one side of the aisle, media and public subversion by the other and bloated self-aggrandizement from the honoree. Is this the station at which representative democracy has arrived in the summer of 2012?

Let's not forget that the state legislature has been embroiled in some pretty high-profile partisan bickering over the past several months. A protracted budget battle was largely fought along party lines, and a nominally non-partisan bill designed to alter judicial appointments received flack from Democrats, who thought the measure would perpetuate a stranglehold of the state's legal elite on the composition of the state's higher courts.

What's happening in Missouri, too, is a microcosm of the partisanship exploding at the federal level. That phenomenon is well documented. Anecdotally, in my time as a public life reporter for the Columbia Missourian, I can also say a similar type of partisanship has erupted (or, at least, is being identified by members of the electorate) in nominally non-partisan local elections.

Healthy discussion, debate and conflict are necessary in a democratic system. In the American model, friction and inefficiency are built in. "As long as the reason of man continues fallible, and he is at liberty to exercise it, different opinions will be formed," Madison wrote in Federalist No. 10.

At the same time, however, it is necessary for an engaged citizenry to not only petition their representatives, but also have the faith in their neighbor that they, too, are interested in the well-being of the republic, and the best interests of the nation at whole in their hearts. De Tocqueville describes this ideal in Democracy in America:

"The New Englander is attached to his township because it is strong and independent; he has an interest in it because he shares in its management; he loves it because he has no reason to complain of his lot; he invests his ambition and his future in it; in the restricted sphere within his scope, he learns to rule society; he gets to know those formalities without which freedom can advance only through revolutions, and becoming imbued with their spirit, develops a taste for order, understands the harmony of powers, and in the end accumulates clear, practical ideas about the nature of his duties and the extent of his rights."

When one side of the aisle shuts out another for a ceremonial coronation because they believe their opinions unpopular, but exercise them anyway, we do not attain the Tocquevillian ideal. We continue down the path of partisanship that has led us to an age where the right of a human being to marry another and pursue happiness has become a politicized decision.

That, dear reader, is truly "deranged."

An open letter to IGN

Dear IGN,

It's not your fault. You push out a ton of high-quality entertainment content that no other news source can on a daily basis. You've been one of my favorite online destinations since I was a young pup cutting my teeth (underage) flying a Dodo in GTA3, and your multimedia offerings grow more varied with each passing day. The new site design simplifies the main page while drawing the eye even more directly to top visual and textual content.

But you have a grammar problem. It may be nitpicking, but when a feature article citing the director of a film that smashed domestic box office records is spelled two different ways in the second graf (Whedon and Wedon) of a feature story, it's time to reevaluate the editorial process.

Here are five reasons why you should consider hiring me as a copy jock. I'm not keen on resumes and I'm sure you have a mound of those anyway.

1. I'm the perfect man for the job. The boilerplate stuff is that I've got a year of community newspaper experience under my belt — with the Columbia Missourian — on both the copy desk and as a general assignment/politics reporter. I've got a bachelor's in political science and a master's in English literature from Belmont University and I'm pursuing a master's in journalism from the University of Missouri in Columbia. I will be spending this summer as an intern at the copy desk of the Chicago Tribune.

The more important stuff: I once postponed sex to play another five stages of Galaga (Notice the operative word: postponed, not canceled. I'm a human being, after all.). I can carry a conversation with you about the metafictional implications of the Tales of the Black Freighter. And, if you pardon brief pauses, I could likely do so entirely in quotes lifted from the two major motion pictures in the "Fletch" franchise.

In other words, this is the geek you're looking for.

2. I'm cheap. We're not talking pro bono cheap. A wise man in clownface once said, if you're good at something, never do it for free.

How can you argue with that?

I assume you guys have a ton of promotional junk sitting around the office. I mean, you give stuff away every week. I think an advanced review copy of Max Payne 3 for the Xbox 360 would be a nice signing bonus...hint, hint...

3. I care like you care. I understand what IGN is about. You guys aren't hunting Pulitzers (though you do produce some excellent investigative work). But there are people out there, yourselves included, that have a passion for what you write about. Maybe some people, like Mr. Ebert, don't get it, but we do. Video games, television, music, movies and comic books are all a form of art as well as entertainment, and it's OK to bring a contemplative perspective to evaluating these mediums.

To prove this point, here are some of my own musings on the video game world:

Virtual Dork-E3 2011

Duke Nukem Forever Review

Top 20 Games of the 00s

4. The masses demand it. As a (until recently) frequent contributor to the Neoseeker forums, I understand at times that gaming gadflies that lurk online can at times be a petulant bunch (myself included). But what they are asking for is not an impossibility in this instance. Immediacy is an important part of journalism in the digital age, that much is true. But credibility always weighs down the other side of that see-saw, and IGN, as perhaps the biggest name in online entertainment news, has an opportunity to commit itself to that side as well. And all it takes, sometimes, is a fresh pair of eyes to improve copy exponentially.

5. I don't really have a fifth, but I wanted a nice round number. So, please enjoy this music video from my pal Andrew Whitman in which I make a cameo as a guy that pretends to play guitar and harmonica.

I could be THAT GUY in your office.

I know, like all news outlets, you guys are probably going through identity and financial quandaries right now. Consider adding me as part of your part-time staff in the future.

Sincerely,

Kip

aka Corp_Zsettslani (oh yeah, my Gamertag is a Faulkner reference)