It's not your fault. You push out a ton of high-quality entertainment content that no other news source can on a daily basis. You've been one of my favorite online destinations since I was a young pup cutting my teeth (underage) flying a Dodo in GTA3, and your multimedia offerings grow more varied with each passing day. The new site design simplifies the main page while drawing the eye even more directly to top visual and textual content.
But you have a grammar problem. It may be nitpicking, but when a feature article citing the director of a film that smashed domestic box office records is spelled two different ways in the second graf (Whedon and Wedon) of a feature story, it's time to reevaluate the editorial process.
Here are five reasons why you should consider hiring me as a copy jock. I'm not keen on resumes and I'm sure you have a mound of those anyway.
1. I'm the perfect man for the job. The boilerplate stuff is that I've got a year of community newspaper experience under my belt — with the Columbia Missourian — on both the copy desk and as a general assignment/politics reporter. I've got a bachelor's in political science and a master's in English literature from Belmont University and I'm pursuing a master's in journalism from the University of Missouri in Columbia. I will be spending this summer as an intern at the copy desk of the Chicago Tribune.
The more important stuff: I once postponed sex to play another five stages of Galaga (Notice the operative word: postponed, not canceled. I'm a human being, after all.). I can carry a conversation with you about the metafictional implications of the Tales of the Black Freighter. And, if you pardon brief pauses, I could likely do so entirely in quotes lifted from the two major motion pictures in the "Fletch" franchise.
In other words, this is the geek you're looking for.
2. I'm cheap. We're not talking pro bono cheap. A wise man in clownface once said, if you're good at something, never do it for free.
How can you argue with that?
I assume you guys have a ton of promotional junk sitting around the office. I mean, you give stuff away every week. I think an advanced review copy of Max Payne 3 for the Xbox 360 would be a nice signing bonus...hint, hint...
3. I care like you care. I understand what IGN is about. You guys aren't hunting Pulitzers (though you do produce some excellent investigative work). But there are people out there, yourselves included, that have a passion for what you write about. Maybe some people, like Mr. Ebert, don't get it, but we do. Video games, television, music, movies and comic books are all a form of art as well as entertainment, and it's OK to bring a contemplative perspective to evaluating these mediums.
To prove this point, here are some of my own musings on the video game world:
4. The masses demand it. As a (until recently) frequent contributor to the Neoseeker forums, I understand at times that gaming gadflies that lurk online can at times be a petulant bunch (myself included). But what they are asking for is not an impossibility in this instance. Immediacy is an important part of journalism in the digital age, that much is true. But credibility always weighs down the other side of that see-saw, and IGN, as perhaps the biggest name in online entertainment news, has an opportunity to commit itself to that side as well. And all it takes, sometimes, is a fresh pair of eyes to improve copy exponentially.
5. I don't really have a fifth, but I wanted a nice round number. So, please enjoy this music video from my pal Andrew Whitman in which I make a cameo as a guy that pretends to play guitar and harmonica.
I could be THAT GUY in your office.
I know, like all news outlets, you guys are probably going through identity and financial quandaries right now. Consider adding me as part of your part-time staff in the future.
Sincerely,
Kip
aka Corp_Zsettslani (oh yeah, my Gamertag is a Faulkner reference)
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