The geek in me has always wanted to attend E3. Getting paid to write about (and let's not forget play!) the upcoming blockbuster titles in the video game industry gets me all hot and bothered like Tony Gwyn on his way to Ryan's Steakhouse. Watching the off-screen videos posted by IGN and other gaming resources across the internet just isn't the same as actually being there and getting your hands on the software. Having said all of that, this year's show by proxy from Missouri has so underwhelmed me that I have decided to, in the vain of Will Ferrell's brilliant James Lipton impression, invent a word to convey my indifference.
Hohumsillery.
I'm going to try to forget in this post that two of my most anticipated games for the future (Half-Life 3 and Grand Theft Auto V) were nowhere to be found. I'm going to try to get out of my mind the haunting faces of those Miis playing Hide and Seek as "revolutionary" for the video game industry. I'm going to try to overlook the fact that the standout titles of the show were games we've already seen in the media hundreds of times. In other words, I'm going to try to be objective.
That's going to be difficult, what with Microsoft's "big reveal" of features for Xbox Live being limited use of Youtube on the console (a feature also of Nintendo's woefully-titled new "WiiU") and the ability to call up my Lady Gaga music videos I purchased off iTunes using my voice. The only exclusive announced for Xbox that even remotely interested me was Minecraft. The Halo 4 CG trailer only shows me that 343 Studios is scared stupid that they actually have to do something with Bungie's brainchild and are worried the gameplay they introduce will split the fanbase over a year and a half before the game is released. So, they rendered a video with countless nods to fanboys to gloss over the fact that they're probably going to butcher one of the most beloved franchises in shooter history. The Halo: CE remake looks like a lot of fun, with online co-op and classic map support, but until I can be assured that I can split some heads old-school Magnum style on Chill Out I'm going to remain cautiously optimistic at most.
As I haven't been a fan of Sony since the PS2 days, I didn't pay a ton of attention to their press conference. If the Vita alone was supposed to distract people from the fact that they couldn't play games online or purchase content for over a month, some marketing executive needs to lose his job. The PSP Go was an unmitigated disaster, and while there are several better-than-decent games that will be available for the Vita at launch, the same was true for the original PSP before the unit eventually began to lose steam. Why should consumers believe anything different will happen in this age of sophisticated smartphones that offer countless sources of gaming-on-the-go distraction? The biggest blunder of the conference, in my estimation, was Sony refusing to include Twisted Metal (perhaps a sleeper for Game of the Year) during their press conference, as it is clearly one of the system's finest exclusives that will be available this Fall.
Today, Nintendo unveiled some 3DS software (some good, some meh) during their press conference and closed with the official unveiling of the "WiiU." It, of course, sounds like perhaps the second least enviable college campus in the world (I'm still making Ohio State jokes). The control pad looks cumbersome, and the obvious emphasis placed upon third-party support for the console at launch only served the purpose of causing me to question why I can't play games like Assassin's Creed and Batman on the system Nintendo released six years ago, like the 360 and PS3? Why do I have to purchase a new console to play games that will almost certainly be ports of games I can play for $60 on my other system? Oh, sure, there will be "controller-connectivity," but I don't play shooters like Call of Duty so I can look down and access my inventory on some screen in front of me. I want a traditional controller without clutter for my hardcore titles, and Nintendo is going to have to do some major convincing if they expect the hardcore crowd to flock back after the Wii essentially shunned the entire community (don't believe me? Look at sales for MadWorld and Manhunt 2).
As a disclaimer, I understand that all of this is speculation, and it's difficult to develop reasoned decisions without the hardware and software in my hands. This is just one passionate gamer's opinions based upon an almost obsessive desire to make it out to California one year to see these games in person.
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