Virtual Dork: An IGN revision, the Top 20 Games of this Generation

I was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the latest generation of game consoles. I adored my Playstation 2, so much so that parting ways with it placed me in an existential funk it took me an entire playthrough of the original Gears of War to shake. I bought an Xbox 360 in 2007, awaiting the May 2008 release of Grand Theft Auto IV. Really, that was the only reason.


Seven years later, the damn thing is still sitting on the top of my dresser, and gets about as much (if not more) love than my tubby tabby cat.


IGN recently released its list of the top 100 games of this generation, as we move forward to some AAA titles releasing on next-generation hardware, perhaps none bigger so far than Ubisoft's Watch Dogs offering set to drop next week. While I tend to think picking on another person's (or publication's) best of lists is a fool's errand, I was supremely unimpressed by the final order of IGN's top games.


While I came into my gaming self during the SNES and original Playstation days, I've felt no closer to a generation of games than the one we're about to leave in the rear-view mirror. So, while I know I did a top games of the 00's list just a few years ago, I feel inclined to answer IGN with a new list centered specifically on the last eight years of gaming.


A word of caution before we begin: I was an Xbox gamer. I understand the Uncharted games are excellent and there are many other PS3 exclusives that are probably missing. But, not having played them, I can't say with any authority which is better than the other. I did have access to a Nintendo Wii for a while during the past generation, however, and I feel well informed to include some of those titles among the ones listed below.

20. Gears of War 3 (Xbox 360, released 2011)

If Gears of War proved the cover-based shooter could survive on consoles and Gears of War 2 gave us the oft-emulated “Horde mode,” Gears of War 3 tied those elements together in a cinematic package that couldn't be beat. Campaign co-op was a blast and the addition of mech suits gave the usually plodding pace a bit more zip. A lot was made of the story element to the final game, sending off Dom and resolving the plotline between Marcus Fenix and his father. I couldn't care less. The shotty was satisfying and the chainsaw revved once more. Gears 3 was the best of the series, hands down.

19. You Don't Know Jack (multi, released 2011)

To the untrained eye, the 2011 release of You Don't Know Jack on current generations of consoles was merely an extension of the console and PC classic from the mid-to-late 90s. However, Jellyvision crafted a much more focused experience with episode-based content that enabled you to play for hours without repeating a question. The introduction of new theme-based questions (Nocturnal Admissions with Cookie Masterson is my personal favorite) and the strategic element of the “Wrong Answer of the Game” makes the most recent console outing the best in a long line of full retail releases. Episode packs ended when Jelllyvision moved to supporting its Facebook app game and other titles, but there's still enough fun here for multiple wasted afternoons with friends, either online or on the couch next to you.

18. Assassin's Creed 3 (multi, released 2012)

The American colonies proved a perfect fit for Assassin's Creed gameplay, and while the first two numbered entries in the now-prolific series set the narrative tone for subsequent games, it is the third title that explores history and offers player freedom in a way that hadn't yet been experienced. Some will say they prefer Assassin's Creed 2's Ezio and his bubbly persona to the ceaselessly pissed Connor. I found his relationship with Kenway much more interesting than any of Desmond's exploits so far or his ancestors. The sea battles, hunting and pirate coves were a welcome diversion from the rinse-and-repeat gameplay of climbing towers, shoving your way through streets and slipping into haybales to avoid detection. Ubisoft hit a high point with Assassin's Creed 3 they'll have to work hard to overcome in the next generation.

17. Borderlands 2 (multi, released 2012)

Borderlands 2 took everything that was great with the original's formula (including Claptrap) and kicked it up a notch in the sequel. The gunplay is satisfying, the villain actually has some personality and the infectious looting is given an adrenaline shot in the arm. While the cel-shaded graphics still aren't my favorite thing in the world, they work in the world of Pandora, which still feels fresh in the game's second installment. It appears as though the creators are going in the story-telling direction with Telltale Games' Tales from the Borderlands releasing sometime in the next year, but let's hope the next generation of consoles gives us brand new settings, equally compelling characters and the same addictive gunplay and collecting we've come to expect from the series.

16. Grand Theft Auto IV (multi, released 2008)

The story of Niko Bellic is what stands out as GTAIV's crowning achievement. The add-ons, while fun, are forgettable and given the technical achievement that is GTAV, Liberty City just doesn't feel as fun as it used to when this game released. Still, Rockstar is to be commended for bringing their flagship franchise into the high-definition era with style, and giving us a grown-up story to match the brilliant open-world gameplay. GTAIV provided the stepping stone that gave us (spoiler) the best game of this generation, and it deserves to be counted among the generation's best because of it.

15. Donkey Kong County Returns (Nintendo Wii, released 2010)

The return of the 2D platformer is a legacy this generation of consoles should be proud in promoting. None stood taller than Retro Studios' Donkey Kong Country Returns, which traded the Kremlings for Tikis and the standard controller for some motion-based antics. The game was fast, fun and with the addition of simultaneous co-op (pioneered in New Super Mario Bros. Wii) took a legacy formula and made it the ultimate party game. It was also gorgeous, throwing Donkey and Diddy into the background and foreground as well as casting them in vibrant silhouettes that kept gamers on their toes.

14. Red Dead Redemption (multi, released 2010)

Reviving the series Rockstar took over from Capcom in the PS2-era, Red Dead Redemption casts its (anti)hero as John Marston, and gives us one of the last generation's greatest stories. The gunplay is leaps and bounds ahead of GTAIV's, and the horse mechanics gel brilliantly with Rockstar's brand of open-world gameplay. The seeds for GTAV's infectious online mode are laid in RDR's open-world multiplayer extravaganza, and the single player experience is chock full of things to do in what seems a barren environment. Red Dead is an achievement that we can only hope will be built upon in the next round of hardware.

13. Bioshock (originally Xbox exclusive, then multi, released 2007)

What if you made a spiritual successor to System Shock 2, that kept its ambiguous morality but made its gunplay infinitely more approachable and threw on a sheen of Randian objectivism? You get Bioshock, a mindbending journey under the sea that made the phrase “Would you kindly?” spine-tinglingly sinister. Long after the smoke from your pistol dissipated, you'd be thinking about what your actions meant, a theme only enhanced by the brilliant follow-up Bioshock: Infinite.

12. Team Fortress 2 (multi, released 2007)

While free-to-play is now ubiquitous, who would have known its greatest title would be a follow-up to a modification of the original Half-Life released more than 15 years ago? Team Fortress 2 is a social experience that gets an online community to work together, something the countless clones of Call of Duty seem to have proven impossible. Its cartoonish style only adds to its charm, and no matter what device you play the game on it's a great way to lose yourself in a simplistic world for several hours. That it remains one of the top-played games on Steam only shows the brilliance of its simple design.

11. Halo 4 (Xbox 360, released 2012)

Halo 3 brought the Master Chief into the high-definition era, but what 343 Industries did with the next numbered entry in the series gave the Spartan his definitive experience on the last generation of consoles. A campaign that introduced a new threat (albeit with somewhat of a cinematic and chintzy final boss), new weapons and switched the mechanics up just enough to allow 343 to make the game its own are just some of the reasons Halo 4 outshined the previous iterations of the series on the 360. The biggest leap forward for me, though, was the introduction of Spartan Ops, a somewhat hit-and-miss episodic adventure that kept me (and my buddies) coming back long after the credits rolled.

10. Portal 2 (multi, released 2011)

It could be the introduction of new witty enemy Wheatley, or the stronger attempt at narrative, or perhaps the goo-themed mind-bending puzzles that built upon the original Portal that ratcheted its successor onto my list of favorite games of the past generation. But the biggest reason was its local co-op functionality that radically changed how you played the first-person puzzler. Shots needed to be timed, portals opened and closed in the wink of an eye, but none of the solutions ever felt cheap, even with two players tackling the challenges. The return of GLADoS was, forgive me, icing on the cake.

9. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 (multi, released 2009)

Yes, yes, Call of Duty 4 modernized the genre and provided the first glimpse of innovations that have become genre staples. And the hideous lack of an open beta made MW2's multiplayer frustratingly broken early in its lifecycle (Javelin glitch, anyone?). But as patches were released, and the furor over the game's “No Russian” mission subsided, what emerged is one hell of a game that I, personally, have poured more than a month into in game time. That's not a misprint, I have the stats in my Barracks to prove it. Modern Warfare 2 also holds claim to the greatest shotgun (the game's version of the Spas-12) in the history of first-person shooters. Don't dispute it.

8. Mario Kart Wii (Nintendo Wii, released 2008)

Forget that dumb plastic wheel peripheral. Yeah, it was innovative at the time, but the real reason you kept coming back to Mario Kart Wii was the beautiful tracks, the thrill of hitting that power slide juuuusst right and – above all else – smearing your friend's face in defeat. Mario Kart Wii allowed four players to crowd around the TV and link up with would-be racers around the world for the first time. While it didn't always work perfectly, it was always a lot of damn fun. Many an epithet was shouted at the 117 in Nashville as that blue shell closed in on each and every one of us.

7. Batman: Arkham Aslyum (multi, released 2009)

I can't remember a gaming world before Arkham Asylum, and I certainly don't want to remember Batman on consoles before it. Rocksteady got the Dark Knight, and it did so at a perfect time following the massive success of Christopher Nolan's film. Introducing an unforgettable rogue gallery headed by the Joker, but also including lesser-known and more outlandish foes like Killer Croc and Victor Zsasz. The asylum itself, a longstanding destination of evil in the comics, comes to life in ways that wouldn't have been possible on the hardware that came before the Xbox 360. Rocksteady launched a franchise to be reckoned with in Arkham Asylum, which seems to be headed for an explosive finale with the much-anticipated Arkham Knight.

6. Telltale Games Presents: The Walking Dead (multi, released 2012)

Telltale Games took us on perhaps the most emotional journey of the past generation in the midst of an apocalyptic nightmare. Taking its visual cues from the comic book series, the slightly cel-shaded look of The Walking Dead belies a deep and mature story about love, loss and responsibility. Lee Everett is a complex protagonist whose relationship with Clementine evolves in an episodic manner, right up to the heart-wrenching finale. Like no other game this side of X-Com, your choices have painfully real consequences in Telltale Games' masterpiece that proved episodic gaming wasn't just a ploy by developers delivering DLC cash-grabs.

5. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim (multi, released 2011)

Bethesda, the king of massive gameplay worlds, sends you into a Nordic fantasyland full of dastardly characters, demonic dungeons and heroic battles in the fifth installment of its Elder Scrolls series. One could get lost in the lore bound in tomes of a castle's library for hours, should they choose, or instead punch the village drunk in the face and start widespread chaos – until you take an arrow to the knee. Magnificent Scandinavian voice acting gives Skyrim a unique feel, and the unique character progression allows players to level without grinding, should they choose. This is as close to a perfect console RPG as you're going to get, unless your name is …

4. Fallout 3 (multi, released 2008

Immediately destroying its moniker as “Elder Scrolls with guns,” Bethesda took an established turn-based franchise and turned it on its first-person head, allowing you to see through the eyes of a Vault Dweller for the first time in perhaps gaming's most famous post-apocalyptic wasteland. This time, in fact, you found yourself in the Capital Wastes, searching for your father in the most personal story contained within a Fallout game to date. The Deathclaws, wry humor and Super Mutants were all along for the ride, which stretched to easily more than 70 hours of gameplay if you scoured for every last bottle of Nuka-Cola. And what a way (and place) to spend it.

3. Super Mario Galaxy 2 (Nintendo Wii, 2010)

There will be swearing. Those damn green stars are going to make your head spin. Super Mario Galaxy 2 builds in every way upon its revolutionary predecessor, which took Mario to the skies in search of saving Princess Peach from the clutches of Bowser (duh). Super Mario Galaxy 2 is beautiful. The soundtrack is spot on. Yoshi's appearance in the 3D world is a breath of fresh air. But most importantly, the second entry in the Galaxy series allowed Nintendo to play with the concept of planets, creating stunning challenges that pushed the boundaries of the hardware and, in the process, platforming. More than 25 years after emerging from his first green pipe, Mario showed he still had chops this generation.

2. Bioshock: Infinite (multi, released 2013)

What's to say about a game built upon a premise in the clouds that shows us the depths of human behavior? Zachary Hale Comstock improves upon the dastardly clout of Andrew Ryan and Frank Fontaine in the first Bioshock title. His patriots and other heavy hitters deal just as much punishment and fear as the Big Daddies that populated Rapture. But the true achievement of Bioshock: Infinite is the relationship between Elizabeth and Booker, and how the player realizes that something is amiss about the tears, memories and alternate realities that Irrational Games guides you through in the pair's adventure. The last 20 minutes, mostly achieved through cutscenes, are some of the most powerful moments of video gaming in this or any generation. The two stellar episodic follow-ups, which tie the trilogy together, only add to the prestige of this astounding achievement.

1. Grand Theft Auto V (multi, released 2013)

How do you take one of the biggest gaming franchises and make it better? Add back in the insanity and over-the-top gameplay that put you on the map, split the narrative between three characters and offer a persistent online world for players with the kind of gameplay options one would expect from the king of open-world games. GTAV pushes the current generation to its limit, building a living, breathing San Andreas that makes all other open world attempts, including 2008's Liberty City, pale in comparison. The story may not be as focused as Niko Bellic's, but it more than makes up for it in offering us three deeply troubled characters shaped by – and willing to try to change – their surroundings. While other games of this generation took conventions we were accustomed to and ratcheted them up in terms of their visual fidelity and presentation, GTAV did things (branching mission paths, multiple characters who can be changed on the fly, a persistent online world with its own economies and constantly changing dynamics) that literally changed the way we played. And for that, it's the greatest game of the past eight years.

Virtual Dork: South Park Stick of Truth Review

There is a moment, after you've vanquished a member of a rival faction using an arsenal of farts, Cheesy Poofs and magic 8-ball-handed weapons, when you, as the "new kid" in South Park, witness a familiar cast of characters bickering over how to take down their greatest foe.

"Suck my e-e-e-elven dick, Butters," Jimmy Valmer says on the screen in front of you, perfectly framed as only the construction-paper inspired animation of Trey Parker and Matt Stone can be.

It is these moments that elevate South Park: Stick of Truth above a normal licensed game. The script was written by Parker and Stone. The game was made using resources from South Park Studios' animation team. All of the voice actors (including Isaac Hayes in a brief cameo) are here. This looks and sounds exactly like an episode of South Park should.

It's only a pity that, under the hood, Stick of Truth is an exceptionally easy title with little reason for multiple playthroughs. While the South Park fan in you will squeal with joy as you battle Al Gore and try to beat back the flaming farts of Wizard Cartman, the nonsensical ending and shallow gameplay keep Stick of Truth from being a truly great video game, although it's undoubtedly a wonderful narrative experience (with some caveats).

You begin the game as the "new kid," moving in to a home on the same block as series regulars Eric Cartman, Stan Marsh, Kenny McCormack and Kyle Broflovski. You quickly join forces with Butters Stotch, who informs you of the game du jour in the neighborhood. The conceit, a mystical RPG quest with fantastical elements, is drop dead similar to the narrative sheen that ran through last fall's "Black Friday" trilogy on the show. Cartman and Butters are members of the human guild, while Stan and Kyle do battle as knights of the elven faction.

After creating your character, you learn from parents (who share your physical traits) that there is something just not right about you. Unfortunately, what is one of the most interesting and novel story quirks in the game gets dismissed in a trivial and surprisingly uninteresting and unfunny cutscene toward the end of the game featuring an eye-patched, shadowy government figure.

Your journey will take you to all the staple locations in South Park: Skeeter's Bar, Jimbo's Gun shop, City Wok, Tom's Rhinoplasty and the abortion clinic. Throughout the game's roughly 15-hour playtime, you'll run into all the classic characters, who you can "friend" through the game's Facebook system. As you gain friends and experience points, you'll be able to add perks and abilities that increase your powers in turn-based combat that hearkens back to the old days of Chrono Trigger and Final Fantasy.

Unfortunately, that combat is relatively uninspired. While there are some fun elemental quirks to the game that you can use to turn the tide in your favor when the combat screen does appear, most of the fights are winnable using a simple pattern of actions, and because there is no limitation on the amount of items you can carry and stockpiling combat potions is merely an exercise in searching for cash, strategy goes out the window in the second half of the game.

As a thief, I was granted a basically game-breaking ability early on to stun the most powerful enemies while I picked off minions. Using Butters' "Healing Touch" ability, I was able to win almost all fights in the game following a relatively simple pattern once I had a level 10 weapon. Combat becomes a slog to get to the next brilliantly written cutscene.

That is, until the end of the game, when you're forced into a series of battles that increasingly make little sense and the difficulty factor is artificially inflated. Without spoiling the ending, I can say that the final climactic scene can be seen coming from a mile away, something that is relatively unconscionable for a series and writers known to toy with the absurd in pursuit of satire.

Despite my poo-poohing, Stick of Truth is an extremely fun romp through America's finest source of scatological satire. Fans of Matt and Trey's work should not miss the opportunity to visit this quiet little redneck mountain town and relive some of their favorite experiences from the long-running series. However, I would advise against paying the full price. Wait for a discount for your trip to Colorado.

Verdict: 3/5 stars

A postmodern meltdown: Some thoughts on GTAV and contemporary culture

'Cause I got bats in the belfry
I'm in the kitchen boiling society
I'm in the open catching all the leaves
We all see what we want, yeah

-Dispatch, "Bats in the Belfry" (Bang Bang 1997)

As Franklin Clinton, one of three protagonists in Rockstar Games' latest iteration of their billion-dollar Grand Theft Auto franchise, I'm cruising back to my pad in Vinewood, GTAV's version of Hollywood set in the hills over Los Santos (read: Los Angeles). I notice a patrol car speeding toward me, a not uncommon occurrence in a title that sets fits of unbridled rage as a gameplay mechanic. Except this police officer is chasing another violent offender, who is seconds away from veering in front of my vehicle's path.

Here's where choice sets in. And we're not talking the "will you or won't you" narrative mechanic like something out of Bioshock. This decision in front of me will have no bearing on my character in the long-term or how the game's story unfolds. It's simply a moment, in the countryside of San Andreas, where I as a player have to choose.

I swerve in front of the crook, blocking his path and making the pursuit all that easier for the patrol car. Both pursuer and pursuee (word?) emerge from their vehicles, weapons drawn. I do the same, hunkering for cover behind my sedan's engine (in retrospect, not the likeliest choice for safe-hiding-spot in a shootout). I pull the left trigger on my Xbox 360 game pad to go into targeting mode with my pistol. In another subtle nod to my choice as a player, I default to targeting a police officer, but I don't pull the trigger. Instead, the crook blasts him away before my eyes. Law is restored when his partner, at a different angle, takes one shot to put the murderer down.

GTAV isn't a perfect recreation of modern life. Following this encounter, the involved officer simply strolled back to his patrol car (I half expected to see him whistling) now sans one of its prior occupants and drove off. But these serendipitous moments of choice, and just HOW MANY there are in this massive game world, elevate Rockstar's latest above mere interactive entertainment to something more.

The chorus above is from one of my favorite ditties by 90s jam rockers Dispatch. The song begins with some psychedelic riffs on the electric guitar that fade into more ska/reggae beats at intervals. In the song's final act, the guitar swells to a pulsating fit of hyperactivity, echoing the mind of our speaker as he descends slowly into madness (hence the title) by the frenzied pace of modern life.

The Grand Theft Auto series has always been about choice. It was arguably more about choice before its 3D days, when the first two numbered installments in the series were "beatable" only after you obtained enough cash to proceed through a series of locations. GTA grew up with its first appearance on the PS2 and Xbox (GTA3), and has become a cultural force to be reckoned with.

The genius of GTAV is that it perfectly encapsulates the kind of frenzied mind that is created by the postmodern world. Michael and Trevor, the two other protagonists in the game, are relics of a bygone era, former heist aficionados sinking their teeth back into "the game." Because of ten years of cultural evolution that have left them behind, both have become mentally unstable in their own ways. The player, faced with a map the size of Rockstar's previous open-world games combined and numerous potential tasks throughout that world (in addition to just wreaking mayhem, a staple of the series) faces a similar kind of emotional distress (or, at least, I have multiple times while playing).

I'm not nearly finished with GTAV. I plan to sit down for a good long while with it today, some caffeine and alcohol at the ready for my fits of existential calamity. But, to date, the most impressive thing about the title is its ability to mimic the malaise of living in a world where choice is omnipresent and morals are blurry at best.

Virtual Dork: Thoughts on Xbox's Games with Gold promotion

Earlier this summer, perhaps anticipating the livid audience response to initial statements the new Xbox would require an online connection and restrict access to used games and other content, Microsoft announced its Games with Gold promotion. Modeled after Sony's Playstation Plus free game giveaway, Microsoft promised two free games would be released each month from June through December, dropping two titles at E3 (Assassin's Creed 2 and Halo 3) that would definitely be on the roster. The rest would be surprises.

Though I'd already played the two announced titles when they released, I was looking for a good reason to renew my Gold subscription earlier this summer in order to watch HBO Go on the pathetic Sanyo that was included with my rental unit here in Spokane. I'm squinting to see players in Call of Duty, so if I've stared at you funny in the last several weeks, know that's the reason and not that I'm losing my mind (probably). In any event, the first announced game, Fable 3, had not graced my console yet so I plopped the money down for a year's subscription and dutifully downloaded the three-quel overnight on my hamster-wheel ran WiFi.

This is a commentary on the game's we've received through the promotion so far. It would be unfair, I think, to compare Microsoft's offering with Playstation Plus. Sony clearly has a superior setup, offering games like Saint's Row the Third and Uncharted 3, both of which released in the last two years. The most recent offering from Microsoft to date has been Fable, which released in October 2010. Only one game is available at a time, whereas Playstation has a suite of options available each month. Finally, Sony has been running their promotion for quite some time, whereas with Microsoft it's a finite deal that feels a little reactionary, to be perfectly blunt.

Still, we're getting free games. During the summertime, that's a great thing, because the dog days are usually also the doldrums for fresh, blockbuster titles. With GTAV still an agonizing month away, Microsoft has been offering some decent diversions. Let's see how they stack up.

Fable 3

I have memories of playing the original Fable, but it must have been at a friend's house because I never owned the original Xbox. I thought it had been ported to the Playstation 2, my console of choice during the last generation. I may be confusing the game with Psychonauts, thought the relative quality of that game (even when compared to Lionhead's latest offering) makes that confusion unlikely.

Fable 3 is a tonally ridiculous game. You're supposed to feel some sort of compassion for the bizarre, cartoony humanoids of Albion who speak with regrettably ridiculous British accents and generally act as though Chaucer's Miller were their moral compass. The combat is fun, the possibilities for amassing wealth seemingly limitless. But when you throw in the moral weight of decisions whether millions of your people will die and one of the achievements requires you making that choice in a chicken suit, there's just not really any storytelling weight here. Add to the fact the nebulous nature of the evil facing your kingdom and an ending that I suppose is designed to make someone, somewhere cry, and this game is perfect for diversionary purposes. But Zelda-killer this is not.

Score: 3/5

Defense Grid: The Awakening and Assassin's Creed 2

I haven't spent enough time with Defense Grid, an Xbox Live Arcade title, to form an opinion. I've already played Assassin's Creed 2 and didn't download it again. I won't judge them for this piece yet.

Crackdown

August's first downloadable title was 2007's Crackdown, a game conceived by David Jones, the mind behind Lemmings and the original Grand Theft Auto. Primarily known for containing a beta key for Halo 3, Crackdown sold well enough to spawn what critics called an uninspired sequel in 2010 just as Jones finished up work on his ill-fated MMORPG answer to GTA, APB (All Points Bulletin).

Jones' prints are all over this game. It's fast, fun and tremendously shallow in the story department. Gunplay is satisfying, though twitchy. Driving is ridiculous and should be avoided in favor of your agent's incredible aerial abilities. As you progress through the (woefully short) story mode, your character earns new abilities through floating orbs that require platform puzzling to solve, not unlike lookout towers in Assassin's Creed. There are more than 500 to collect scattered throughout Pacific City, and if the ambient sound wasn't so terrifically awful I likely would have pursued them all. It's just that addictive.

When you've taken out all the bad guys, the game tosses what seems like an expository curveball at you: the disembodied voice of the "Agency," the group you've been working to help clean up the streets, has designs of municipal autocracy that you've helped him achieve. I'd be blow away if I wasn't yawning. Good time-waster, little more.

Score: 2/5

Dead Rising 2 and Dead Rising 2: Case Zero

The original Dead Rising was a massively popular title for the 360 published by Capcom in 2006, just a few months after the console was launched. I've been meaning to pick it up, but never really bothered with it. I purchased my Xbox 360 the summer of 2007 and by then my interest in the launch games had waned considerably.

Dead Rising 2 takes the solid foundation of its predecessor (according to reviews of that title) and builds upon them, making the save feature much more accessible to players and introducing a level of tonal absurdity that could only be inspired by a Japanese game company. You're in the midst of a zombie apocalypse, your daughter has been bitten and requires constant medical attention to avoid "turning," and you can wear assless chaps.

Yes, that's right. Assless chaps.

I haven't finished Dead Rising 2 yet, but so far it has — in my estimation — the cream of the crop of titles released under the Games with Gold promotion. Though the story is absurd, there's a real sense of urgency and progress here as the timer ticks down on certain objectives. Old-school saving IS frustrating, but the game more than makes up for it by designing a combat system that is just so damn fun. Squishing zombie brains never gets old, and thanks to the constantly regenerating undead masses in the over world of Fortune City, Nevada, you have plenty of time to oblige them.

Score: 4/5

Dead Rising 2 is the first game in the Games with Gold promotion I feel like I would have picked up for a price had I played a demo of the game beforehand. I hope the selections continue in this upward trajectory, which brings me to a wish list of games I want to see released over the next several months. Of course, GTAV will consume my free time beginning Sept. 27, but the option of starting a download that you can finish later is an ingenious offering by Microsoft for the busy gamer. And I intend to get my money's worth.

Games with Gold Wish List

Shadow Complex: This 360 exclusive Xbox Live title seems like a no-brainer. I planned on purchasing it back in 2009 but the time got away from me. There was a lot of outcry when Microsoft went with a XBLA title as its second GWG offering with Defense Grid, but I doubt anyone's going to complain if this Metroid-clone makes the list.

Telltale Games Presents: The Walking Dead: This is likely wishful thinking, as no game near The Walking Dead's launch window last year has been released yet. Perhaps as one of the final offerings, just as Season 2 is being released by Telltale, isn't too much to ask for? Microsoft has already given away one episode of the first season at Christmastime last year, which I hungrily gobbled up. If they released the next four for free as well, I'd be doing a happy zombie shuffle.

Bioshock 2: Microsoft has been making a habit of releasing sequels during the GWG promotion, and Bioshock 2 seems like a safe bet, especially with the episodic content of its successor, Bioshock Infinite, set to release sometime later this year/early next year. The original Bioshock is a classic, but I was kind of turned off by the return to Rapture without Ken Levine's involvement. Playing the game for free would alleviate those concerns.

Minecraft: This is extremely unlikely, seeing as how the genre-defying first-person builder is basically printing money on the Arcade. But perhaps, once market penetration reaches its max, Microsoft will decide it's OK to give the 360 port away for free.

L.A. Noire/Max Payne 3: Give me something from Rockstar (not Table Tennis, though). The first is probably more likely, given its age, but either gun-toting title would make for a fun 2 weeks this fall. I could see Red Dead Redemption too, but I hope not. I've already played that wonderful game to death.

Mass Effect: The original 360 exclusive has been on my list for awhile now, but I haven't had the necessary encouragement to run out and buy it. Microsoft would be able to push out one of its exclusives and attract new players to the series, a win-win in my book.

What games would you like to see released free in the coming months? Let me know in the comments!

Virtual Dork: Bioshock Infinite Review

"The only true voyage of discovery, the only fountain of Eternal Youth, would be not to visit strange lands but to possess other eyes, to behold the universe through the eyes of another, of a hundred others, to behold the hundred universes that each of them beholds, that each of them is."
-Marcel Proust, In Search of Lost Time

Reviewing Bioshock Infinite as a game is more than a little difficult for me. The feeling of not merely playing, but experiencing, the first Bioshock is much stronger in this spiritual sequel. There is a well-polished, brilliantly conceived and balanced shooter at the core of the Bioshock Infinite experience. But to simply dwell upon the game's genius mechanics would be a disservice to the beautiful piece of art (that's right, Roger Ebert, art) that Irrational Games has created.

Infinite begins with a very familiar scene for franchise devotees. You're in a boat, rowing toward a lighthouse. All you know is contained in a box of effects: your name: Booker DeWitt, a pistol, a photograph of a girl, a key and a few handwritten notes. On one of them: Bring us the girl, wipe away the debt. Devilish in its simplicity, the note kicks off a journey into the clouds that mimics the bathysphere spectacle that kicked off the original Bioshock.

Look familiar?

From those few opening moments, Infinite becomes an increasingly unnerving exploration of that city — Columbia — and an early 1900s xenophobic patriotism morphed by Christian values that struck me as much more interesting than Andrew Ryan's Ayn Randian utilitarian Rapture. From the opening moments, as you're baptized among cloaked devotees in a brilliantly lit sequence initiating you into the city, to the final revelation of Zachary Comstock's (the zealot and main antagonist — or so it seems — of this installment in the series) perversion of religion to suit his lofty, utopian aims, Booker's journey through Columbia is one with horrifying and unsettling cruelty toward man under the guise of ideology and zealotry that never really lets go.

Your charge, as Booker, is to find Elizabeth, the girl locked in the tower. You do so early in the game, after inadvertently alerting the entire city —which wants to protect Elizabeth — to your presence. This is where the fighting comes in. Not only will you battle citizens of Columbia, who are not intoxicated by powers like they were in Bioshock but rather sane human beings driven by devotion either for or against Comstock, but also giant machine enemies known as Heavies and Elizabeth's protector, a massive mechanical bird controlled by Comstock himself.

The resulting escape mission will take you through many heart-pumping sequences throughout Columbia. Gameplay is cosmetically similar to Bioshock, though the names of the powers and perks have changed. Instead of plasmids, you have vigors, which range from being able to fire a flock of murderous crows from your hands to traditional electric charges and fireballs. I found Bucking Bronco, a new vigor that allows you to throw your enemies into a daze mid-air, extremely effective with conventional weaponry, particularly the shotgun. Once Elizabeth joins your side, you have access to things called "tears," in which she opens up portals to other dimensions to bring offensive and defensive objects into battle.

It's all very familiar territory, despite the changes. The aerial aspects of combat are improved greatly by the presence of a Skyline, a device that allows you to travel around Columbia on steel pathways that crisscross the city. There are also freight hooks throughout that you can attach to with your Sky Hook, granting you access to higher ground for strategic combat situations and secret areas where money, ammo and other secret goodies await. The Sky Hook also enables gruesome melee kills. This is not a game for youngsters.

The difficulty of Bioshock Infinite is also alleviated by Elizabeth's ability to revive you throughout. Once you've beaten the game, the devilishly difficult "1999" mode becomes available, in which respawns are limited and ammo is harder to come by. I haven't had a chance to fire it up yet, but the game ratchets up in difficulty significantly in the second act even on Medium. It will be an interesting challenge that I'm impatiently looking forward to.

All of this discussion of Infinite as a game is extremely difficult for me, though, as I said at the outset of this review. Because, to be perfectly honest, the gameplay isn't what stuck with me. This is a better-than-average shooter with an extremely high amount of polish, don't get me wrong. But the gun and vigor play wasn't what kept me riveted to the screen, it was the relationship between Booker and Elizabeth, and the little clues that something is amiss in the world you're seeing that kept my fingers from powering down the Xbox.

Without giving too much away, the final 20 minutes or so of the "game" will take you back to Rapture and cause you to question your motives throughout. One reviewer noted Infinite has no "Would you kindly?" moment, as the original Bioshock did. But the reason for that is complicated. The existence of multiple realities, and an unreliable narrator who knows just as much as you do, makes that scenario — groundbreaking in videogames just 5 years ago — seem obsolete. By the time the credits roll on Infinite, you'll have realized you were never playing the game you thought you were. And that makes another playthrough seem cheap, despite how fun the game is to play and the promise of missed achievements.

The game, in other words, is secondary to story. Some people will play Infinite simply because it is one of the prettiest and most functional shooters out there. Indeed, the thrill of landing a perfect headshot on a Skyline, then zooming down to light some fools on fire and stick a Sky Hook in their cranium is one that will continuously take your breath away. But the story crafted by Ken Levine and Irrational is something that transcends simply one kind of media, and quite frankly renders the intricate plot of the original Bioshock, which earned universal praise just a few short years ago, obsolete and trite by comparison.

Which is the only real criticism I can come up with for the game — I honestly have no idea how you can top, in terms of storytelling, the final act of Infinite (of course, I thought the same after Andrew Ryan got the golf club to the skull in the first Bioshock). It will make you question why you've become so complacent with video games as a medium. As mature gamers, we should be demanding experiences that challenge us and the traditional roles they play in our lives — escapism, mindless cathartic release and sensory stimulation. Infinite turns all those tropes on their heads, in a brilliant story distilling great works of fiction in all mediums.

Do not miss this experience. And stay for the gameplay.

Rating: 5/5 stars

Holy inverted joysticks!! Batman: Arkham City Review

Before you even say it, I'm well aware I'm reviewing a game that's been out now for the better part of seven months. My Xbox time is essentially limited at the moment to late night Saturday hangover-recovery sessions, so I've been working my way incrementally through Rocksteady's solid follow-up to the 2009 breakout smash, Batman: Arkham City. I also wanted to make sure I'd found all the collectibles and seen everything there was to see in the title before I gave it a proper review. After spending most of my St. Patrick's Day evening nursing one hell of a headache with Brownie Batter ice cream and everyone's favorite mild-mannered playboy gone rogue, I feel like now's the time to weigh in on a title that was on everyone's short list for Game of the Year in 2011.

Since it's been out so long and many folks who are interested in playing the game have probably already had the chance, I'll spare the reader most of the set-up. The long and short of it is, you begin the game as Bruce Wayne in the clutches of Dr. Hugo Strange, who reveals he knows you're Batman. He releases you into the depths of Arkham City, a new compound built adjacent to Gotham where crooks and supervillains are given free reign to act as dastardly as they want. Strange has something special planned for Batman, though, which is revealed throughout the course of the title.

STORY

Arkham City had some big shoes to fill. Arkham Asylum played out like a fantastic iteration in the comic series' storied lore. There was a focused confrontation with the Joker evident from pressing start, and while a similar showdown seems inevitable in Arkham City, along the way you're forced to do a few confusing things.

The narrative thread holding episodes with the Penguin, Mr. Freeze and Ra's Al-Ghul all make sense in the loosest sense of the word for the in-game narrative. There are some fantastic set pieces throughout the game that rival many of the twists that unfolded during Arkham Asylum. However, by attempting to cram in as many supervillains as possible based on the game's lofty premise (how did all the noteworthy portions of Gotham, including where Bruce's parents were shot, find themselves enclosed in Arkham City? That was convenient!), the narrative loses some of its focus and conflicts are always downplayed and unsatisfying (except your bout with the Joker at the end of the game, but to avoid spoilers - yes, even I must conform to the don't give away the ending rule seven months later - I'm leaving that part out of this discussion). The deaths of several principal characters in the game, then, fall flat.

The problem may be with the series' robust Gotham Stories and taped interviews, which return in Arkham City. The most compelling parts of the narrative in this game feel contained within text and audio, as opposed to playing out before your very eyes as they did in Arkham Asylum. All the same, the quibbles above are minor annoyances when you look at how Rocksteady weaved a cogent, compelling narrative that never slacks off. From start to credits, Arkham City will arrest your attention, bat-nerd or layperson alike.

GAMEPLAY

The much lauded move to open-world gameplay in Arkham City is indeed one of the most commendable accomplishments by Rocksteady. The game world always has a new twist or challenge down the numerous alleyways in Arkham. You won't find yourself wishing there were more things to do. 400 Riddler challenges, extensive side missions and playable chapters as Catwoman keep the title interesting into the 40+ hour range. And, if you enjoyed the game the first time around, the New Game+ option gives the ability to start over with all of your gadgets and upgrades unlocked against beefier enemies.

Combat was one of the shining points of Arkham Asylum, and the sequel delivers once again in spades. The developers added the ability to use gadgets in combat, which can make for some pretty interesting encounters. The first time I pulled a thug in with my Batclaw and slammed him to the ground in glorious slow motion brought a shout of joy to my lips that is normally reserved for discoveries of Twilight Zone marathons on late-night television. The combos available, and the satisfying sound effects and physics to nailing a perfect freeflow sequence, will still paste your face with a smile. The addition of more combat challenges and the Riddler campaigns (sequences of challenges with tweaks to scoring and how to complete the challenges) add shelf life to a game that is already more robust than 99% of what you will play this year.

Stealth is still a big aspect of Arkham City, despite the move to more wide-open environs. You will find armed thugs taking out your traditional hiding places much earlier in Arkham City, forcing you to play the game in ways that may be uncomfortable if you're familiar with the first title in the series coming in.

DIFFICULTY

Having not had the chance to complete New Game+ yet, I can't speak to the difficulty of that title. What I can say is that Arkham City, the first time through, isn't all that difficult. Where it does get tricky, the game will often come in and hold your hand, telling you what you need to do to move forward. It's a theory of game development that encourages some experimentation in the way you play the title and keeps the action moving swiftly, but at the same time those looking for a unique challenge will likely not be bothered too much with Arkham City. I died frequently only during a few fights, and even then it was due more to my stupidity than to game design.

PRESENTATION

From the pained steps of Batman after being infected with Titan to tossing insults at baddies like Harley Quinn and the Penguin, this game never stops delivering on its premise of making you feel like the Caped Crusader. Using gadgets and ingenuity to defeat large groups of enemies, pulling off dizzying combos, and searching crime scenes for traces to lead you to your next objective — it all feels like part of Batman's universe.

This includes the sections of the game where you play as Ms. Selina Kyle. The version in Arkham City, like those of all the villains, is somewhere between the dark animated series version of the characters with a sense of magical realism, to the gritty Gotham envisioned by Christopher Nolan in the current film series. Catwoman is sleek, sexy and showing quite a bit of cleavage. She's also faster in combat than Batman, and her method of getting around town has a unique feel. I remember first reading about the opportunity to play as Catwoman in previews of the game last summer, and I'd be lying if I didn't say I was a tad skeptical. But Catwoman's sequences have a narrative of their own that make sense in the timeline of the game proper. Rocksteady knocked it out of the park on this point, as well.

OVERALL

Arkham City is an experience not to be missed by fans the comics, video games and just any consumer who wants to see a well put-together entertainment package. The story, though at times rather disjointed and running the risk of being bogged down in exposition, ends with one of the most important events in Batman lore. As the final credits roll, you'll wonder if what you just saw will change Batman's story forever. It'll make you think, and really appreciate what a wonderful job Rocksteady did once again bringing the Batman experience to our fingertips.

Score: 5/5 stars

Virtual Dork-Duke Nukem Forever Review

Read this review on Neoseeker.

All you really need to know about Duke Nukem Forever can be found out during the brief introductory video that precedes the main menu the first time you pop the game into your console. A grainy video featuring the eponymous hero firing stiffly at franchise-staple pig aliens while a generic three-chord power metal song plays in the background invites players into the action. A tint of red bathes all objects on screen, signalling the gory death that will abound during the roughly sixteen hours of gameplay in the single-player campaign. At the end of the CGI sequence, Duke (voiced once again by Jon St. John) brazenly declares, "I'm back, baby!" Is that a good thing?

Not if you read several prominent gaming publications. DNF (as I will refer to the game from now on...those of you lucky enough to compete in a timed sport will understand the irony of the acronym which stands for "DID NOT FINISH" in the results) currently can lay claim to a paltry 50 score (out of 100) on Metacritic. Yesterday, 2K Games (the publisher of DNF) fired the PR firm in charge of handling publicity for the game after its President tweeted a warning to all gaming journalists mocking the title in the press. It's not hard to understand this reaction after playing DNF for five minutes or so. The game takes clear potshots at industry leaders (Halo, Call of Duty, even Mario gets called out at one point), inviting through its arrogance the wrath of gamers and other developers in response to the game's faults.

Of which, even as a huge Duke fan (I'll admit I hobnobbed with the super-geeks early Tuesday morning to pick up the game at midnight), I have to admit there are several. Originally, Duke Nukem games allowed for a high level of interactivity in the main world, either for comic or gameplay-specific effect. This feature finds its way into DNF, though in comparison to games like the recent Fallout titles which boast the ability to manipulate all objects in the game world through the first-person perspective, Duke's interactivity seems mild by comparison. Also, in the first few minutes of the single-player campaign (after a rather interesting and-to a certain extent-refreshing take on the tutorial mode present in most of today's shooters) and in the room of rewards present as a result of accomplishments in online play, the ability to interact the world causes framerate hiccups and stuttering.

Enemy intelligence is another sticking point. Foes will repeatedly rush you aggressively, but rarely work together as a team. Circle strafing can take out most enemies, just as it did back in Nukem 3D back in 1997. The most advanced tactic enemies will use to defeat you (outside of some of the inspired, old-school throwback boss battles that occur frequently to break up the action) is to toss some pipe bombs every now and then. Pacing throughout the game can be hit-or-miss. In addition to the aforementioned boss battles (which are difficult, but not impossible-the way shooter boss fights should be, rather than the scripted sequences seen in games of today if you ask this reviewer), there are turret sequences which are rather straightforward scattered throughout as well as some actually enjoyable platforming and physics puzzle sequences.

Many reviewers (including IGN) panned DNF for its decision to include driving, turret, and puzzle/platforming sequences in between the competent shooting mechanics present in the game. I, instead, found these additions to be rather entertaining and certainly enjoyable when used as transitions between fast-paced shooting. We're obviously not talking Half-Life 2 quality mind-benders, but Gearbox does make a point to both introduce interesting challenges within their game world that transcend simply pointing a shotgun or yanking the tusks off a pig-cop close up. During one inspired sequence late in the game, players are treated to a sequence that integrates a lift, a physics puzzle with barrels, and gunplay into five or so minutes of perhaps the most promising DNF gameplay. The physics system in DNF, however, can at times be wonky, and platforming can be frustrating with some unresponsive controls on occasion. Expect to fail and even die a few times making the correct jump.

Which leads to my biggest complaint with DNF. The loading times on the Xbox 360 are unacceptable even by N64-generation standards. I spent more time waiting for the game to reload after dying in a boss battle than I was actually fighting. I got in the habit of leaving a book open so I could at least feel like I was doing something productive with the time I had to wait for the game to catch back up with me. In these days of autosaving and massive game worlds that can be streamed instantaneously with only minimal loading times measurable in seconds, it is absolutely inexcusable that, after learning a strategy to defeat a boss in the first few seconds, I have the time to watch an episode of The Wire, heat up a ham sandwich, and map the human genome before I get back into the action.

This problem could have been alleviated entirely if DNF had simply employed a feature present in many games today of an interactive loading screen. The pinball, air hockey, and crude whack-a-mole (Alien Abortion!) games playable during a strip-club dream sequence in the middle of the narrative would have made nice loading screen distractions. As it stands, we have some stock music that repeats itself every five seconds (we're talking dream-haunting levels of redundancy), a concept art image of the level we are playing, and a few bone-headed text suggestions at the bottom of the screen (these things have to be ironic inclusions by the developers. "When getting shot at, try to avoid bullets" is a "pro tip" that appears frequently during loading screens. Can Gearbox come over to my house and mash up my solid food for me, too?).

This criticism brings up perhaps the central conflict present between the audience and DNF, and fuel for the review conflict that cost that PR firm a client. How do we judge DNF? As a game developed in 2011 with the current shooter audience in mind, or as an homage to a generation of gamers who have evolved themselves, but simply looking for a nostalgic good time? To answer this question, I found myself drawn back to my experience with the Wii version of Goldeneye released late last year. That game was essentially a retelling of a classic title with the trappings of modern shooters. The gameplay was competent, the multiplayer was just as much fun as gamers remembered, and it employed certain features that were sure to bring in a new and younger audience to a game that was a classic of a previous generation.

In many ways, I think DNF tried to do the same thing. There's a competent shooter here, with some fun gunplay (the shotgun, for lack of less punningly-excruciating terms, is a blast to fire at enemies) and the same attitude you remember from back in the day. I believe the reviewers at IGN, who suggested the game would only be funny to a 12 year old, missed the point. Duke Nukem will always be about going over-the-top. In the humor department, that means taking the macho, Hollywood action hero (who may be disappearing, except in revivals like "The Expendables" and therefore no longer as funny to a mainstream, youthful audience) and extending him to his chauvinistic and arrogant limit.

Duke is still Duke (even though some of his quotes will be repeated to the point of nausea by the time you complete the game) and the attitude of the series is still very evident. Several instances in the game let you know the developers are self-aware, and that we shouldn't be taking this too seriously. In a shooter genre where we're forced-with games like Bioshock and Modern Warfare 2-to make ethical choices based on what and whom we're shooting, it's nice to know that we can step into the shoes of a guy who simply wants you to know, "I'm from Las Vegas, and I say KILL 'EM ALL!" That Duke is back, and love him or hate him, DNF at the very least reminds us that such a hero can still exist. With more polish and a focus on its own identity and that of its audience, a sequel to this mediocre title could show us that subsistence in the modern world isn't all the Duke should be looking for.

COME GET SOME!

Verdict: 3.0/5 stars